After Emotional Year, Bradie Tennell is Cautiously Optimistic

Last summer, as the new season began to come into view, Bradie Tennell had aspirations of earning a berth on the three-woman team that would compete at the Olympic Winter Games Beijing 2022.
 
The 2021 U.S. champion had already choreographed programs that she had hoped to perform at the global event and was hard at work to master them. But then, as quickly as her dream of making a second consecutive Olympic team came into focus, it was all taken away.
 
"A year ago, I started having pain in my right foot that I can only describe as chronic," Tennell explained. "It all started on a sunny day with the flip and Lutz. It would hurt when I picked into the ice."
 
Tennell initially thought perhaps it could be attributed to trying out some new boots, but after exploring different options with nominal improvement, she realized that it was something much more extensive.
 
"It didn't solve any of the problems," she said. "I was still having pain."
 
The 2018 Olympian spent the rest of the summer trying to find a balance between managing the pain and pushing to prepare for the important season. Tennell traveled the country in search of podiatrists, seeking out a diagnosis and treatment plan, but it all remained a mystery.
 
As the season approached, it became apparent that Tennell was in no condition to compete, leading to the tough decision to withdraw from her pre-Grand Prix tune up competitions.
 
As 2021 Guaranteed Rate Skate America approached, Tennell was still not able to train with consistency, and she soon realized that the writing was on the wall—she would have to withdraw from that event as well.
 
"I was still trying to get myself ready," she said. "I thought to myself, 'This is my competition. I can't miss it.' I wasn't jumping over the summer, and I was basically just skating around in practice. I couldn't walk without pain, and I was walking on the side of my foot, which created other issues, so I finally had to make the decision to withdraw."
 
After coming to that tough decision, Tennell spent a solid month or so away from training. Though she began to improve and even started to do what she called "baby waltz" jumps on the ice, she was still not able to pick into the ice for the toe-assisted jumps due to the pain.
 
"I would get up to maybe a single loop and everything would be okay — I would still have pain, but it wasn't debilitating," she shared. "But anytime I would try a to do a single flip or Lutz at like 20% effort, there would be an explosion of pain again and I would have to start the healing process all over again."
 
Tennell withdrew from the rest of her fall assignments and ultimately made the decision to end her season late in December, mere days before the 2022 Toyota U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Nashville.

"At the rink one day I was sitting next to my choreographer, Benoit Richaud, and I was trying to put my foot in my boot. I turned to him and said, 'I can't do it,'" she remembered. "I turned to him with tears falling down my face and told him that I just can't do it because it hurts so much."
 
Richaud comforted his protégée and gave her words of support.
 
"He said, 'What can we do now? You tried your hardest. At the end of the day, that is what matters. You gave it everything,'" Tennell recalled.
 
With Beijing off the table, Tennell took a step back from the sport to take time for her foot to heal, figure out what might come next, and most importantly, to give herself the space to grieve the loss of her season.
 
"It was the hardest thing that I ever had to go through mentally," she admitted. "But even with all the mental strain, it was a lot to handle on the physical side. As an elite athlete I'm so incredibly used to just being able to demand whatever of my body and have it just show up. Suddenly that was just ripped from me, and I felt like my identity was gone."
 
As Tennell adjusted to her new reality, she decided to pick up a few courses at the local community college. In between homework and resting, Tennell tackled what she called her miles long 'to be read' list. She also learned a few things about herself and how she wanted to live her life moving forward.
 
"When I tell people about that time, they say that it sounds so sad," she said. "It was sad, but that's okay. I was going through something that was pretty devastating. I have, in the past, tried to hide the sad stuff or the things that may be ugly in society's view, but I realize that things aren't always perfect. Social media portrays this unrealistic image and the nitty gritty parts of life kind of stay behind this wall."
 
Learning how to give herself the space to feel and process her negative emotions ultimately inspired Tennell to find the good in sadness.
 
"It was something that I was going through and it's important to know that it's part of the process," Tennell said. "It's okay to be a mess. It's okay to fail. It's okay to not be 100%. That's when you learn things and grow as a person. That's when you have to dig deep and really find out who you are — when everything seems like it's falling apart."
 
Tennell is now pain free and is slowly getting back to training, admitting that she has a long way to go to get back to the level of fitness to which she is accustomed. She plans to take things one day at a time and to not look too far forward with regards to what her goals may be for the new season.
 
"I would say that I am at 60% right now," she admitted. "I'm getting back into the swing of training, and I am doing this for me. This is where I was meant to be. I feel at home on the ice. There is nowhere else I would rather be."
 
But even if she is excited to see what this season may bring, Tennell is cautious about making any long-term goals. For now, she anticipates getting back to her training base with coach Tom Zakrajsek in Colorado Springs.
 
"I'm not exactly sure right now when I'm going back up because I will have to go and see Benoit first to get my programs done," she said. "The way that my recovery has been and has to go, everything is day by day, so I really am taking it one day at time. I can't get too far ahead of myself because I tried that last year, and it just didn't work out."