Ten years ago, when Timothy LeDuc sat down with his parents in his hometown of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, to share with them that he was gay, he had never dreamed that a decade later he would be living his life out loud and proud – and also be a U.S. pairs champion at the age of 29.
"The night that I told my parents I was gay, the first thing they told me was that they loved me and they wanted to be a part of my life, but they also wanted to help me 'overcome this,'" LeDuc remembers in a recent interview. "What eventually won out was their love: 'You are our son, we love you.' Being gay can be seen as an ailment by so many people. But my parents' love didn't change, and that's what allowed them to go through the difficult work to change their perspectives."
That wasn't easy, LeDuc says, nor was it easy to become a U.S. champion, some seven years after he had moved from home in Iowa to Indianapolis to train alongside DeeDee Leng, and then – after two years on a cruise ship performing – to Dallas for partner Ashley Cain-Gribble in June 2016.
His journey is akin to that of many queer people who are celebrating Pride Month this June around the country: One of trial, tribulation, struggle, sacrifice and personal – sometimes dark – challenges. But not all of us become the best in the country at something. And for that, LeDuc wants to use his platform the best way that he can. Driven, in part, by that scared 18-year-old in Iowa.
It's why he chooses to live out loud – in nearly every facet of his life.
"We need more examples of who queer people can be," LeDuc says, recalling the pain he went through before coming out. "We are not abominations or sinners that are needed to be cast aside. We are wonderful members of society who can contribute things and should be celebrated. That's why I want to be visible. I know that there are young queer people watching who need an example. I want them to know that it's OK to be who you are and you do not have to resort to self-hatred."
To celebrate Pride Month, LeDuc has already marched twice, first in a trans pride march in Dallas and then the bigger, more mainstream Dallas pride parade. His parents, Mike and Becky, were there for both, something that has become old hat for them – having marched in parades in Cedar Rapids and Chicago, as well.
"My family has been on an evolution from the time I came out until now," he said. "At first it was really difficult (for them). It's an experience that I know a lot of queer people have and my parents have done amazing at putting their love for their child first and doing the work to learn about something that wasn't part of their lives before. My parents have become outstanding allies. To have this journey over this last decade and to have them marching with me in those parades, that was really special for me."
Special too was LeDuc's U.S. title alongside Ashley Cain-Gribble in January in Detroit. Figure skating fans know well the struggle the pair went through in the 2018-19 season, most notably Cain-Gribble's concussion in early December just six weeks before the U.S. Championships.
But it is owed to the drive of both athletes that they were back in skating shape at Little Caesar's Arena in late January, and when they finished their spellbinding free skate center ice, later awarded the title by over 10 points, LeDuc would become the first openly queer athlete to win a U.S. title in pairs.
"Becoming U.S. champions changed everything" for us, LeDuc says. He then brings up his having been the first out pairs skater as U.S. champ, adding: "I don't highlight that to bring more honor to myself, I highlight it to bring more honor to the queer community as a whole. Let's highlight queer success: I'm an open and unapologetic queer person who is owning who I am. I want that to give permission to others to do the same."
He continues: "Even in figure skating, it's important to be open and visible. Whatever platform I have, I want to be that queer person who owns it and celebrates it so I can give permission to other young people, especially if they are in an environment that isn't affirming."
LeDuc lives that off the ice, too. When he's home training in Dallas, he volunteers with two LGBTQ+ organizations, including DFW FUSE and the Trans Pride Initiative. They are both focused on community building within smaller parts of the queer community, and give LeDuc a certain purpose and outlet to share the strength he's gained over the last 10 years since coming out.
LeDuc always knew that he was different. Having grown up in a religious family, he knew from a young age that he liked spending time with female friends at school more than boys, liked to dance and play piano and figure skate, and didn't conform to the normal gender expectations for young boys. He only knew what being gay meant through the lens of TV and church and admits to – at times – hating himself.
"I have, through time, been able to work through a lot of that and undo it, but some of that damage can't be undone," he says. "Those habits and behaviors can never fully be unwired. That's why I'm so outspoken."
It's his message embodied this Pride Month, which he wants to reach the parts of the country that he knows well, from where he grew up, to where skating has taken him, to the reality of being a scared little kid who doesn't know anything different than the house they are growing up in.
"There are a lot of queer people who live in these regional pockets that can be very stifling, very unwelcoming," he said. "I want to be a beacon… through my visibility. Meeting so many people through skating has given me this view that humanity can be so beautiful and diverse. It's opened my mind."
And it's the challenges he's faced all along – since being the "different" young kid to figuring out how to live his best life out loud as a champion – that has allowed him to fully flourish to who is he today, as person and a skater.
"It's really important to remember that I've done all of this as a queer person," LeDuc says. "I've faced challenges and barriers and still became a champion. I've had to persevere as a queer person and an athlete. There is no doubt a correlation there."
