As Jason Brown Hits His Stride, Competitions Turn Into Celebrations

When Jason Brown was skating in his first three competitions of the 2019-20 season, he was, in his own words, a bit of a mess.
 
While he was training as hard as ever, he was still working on new techniques with coaches Brian Orser and Tracy Wilson. He was dealing with some skate issues. And he was still feeling the effects of a concussion sustained in August that left him with dizziness, nausea and whiplash, and forced him to withdraw from his first competition of the season.
 
When Brown finally made it to Las Vegas for 2019 Skate America presented by American Cruise Lines in October, he admits that he was extremely nervous.
 
"As I'm learning all these new skills and techniques and what we're working on, it's almost like I don't quite know where I am in space, and where my body is, and I'm trying to go through the motions," Brown said. "But it's almost like things that were so easy for me and effortless, I'm questioning. And then you add the adrenaline. And then you add the audience. And then you add that you're trying to perform, but you're not ready to perform because you still have to focus so much on the technical aspects. You can't really let go and enjoy it."
 
Brown won silver in Las Vegas, finished fifth at NHK Trophy and won the Golden Spin of Zagreb – nothing to scoff at, by any means.
 
But it wasn't until the 2020 Toyota U.S. Figure Skating Championships in Greensboro, North Carolina, that things really started to fall into place.
 
Brown won silver – his best finish at a U.S. Championships since he won the U.S. title in 2015, also in Greensboro – but says he was more proud of his skating than of the color medal he received.
 
"I want to compete, and I want to do the best that I can. But I think as I get older, I'm not driven by the accolades, as far as the titles. That's not really something that drives me anymore," Brown said. "I don't look at the victory of the week because of the medal as much as I look at how I was rewarded for what I did, and I think it showed in the points. I worked so hard to get back to a place that I could be proud of my skating and what I'd done and how hard I'd worked.
 
"I think that's why I was so emotional and excited about the U.S. Championships. It was really because I can feel the growth that I'm making, and I can feel the changes, and I can see the wheels turning and what I'm capable of. So when that kind of culminates with the reward of getting that from the judges, and to get the reception that I got, that combination was just so, so moving to me. And I'm so proud of that."
 
Just a week later, Brown headed to the ISU Four Continents Figure Skating Championships 2020 in Seoul. Because the events were so close together, he had no time to celebrate, take a break or make any changes to his programs or training. What he was able to do, though, was maintain the peak he'd hit in Greensboro.
 
And, along the way, he managed to expel a few demons in skating a clean short program, set to "I Can't Go On Without You" by Kaleo.
 
"The short program has kind of plagued me this year," Brown said, laughing. "I haven't been able to fully relax into it, because every single time I think I can, I screw up in some way. I hadn't done a clean short internationally, and all those elements are typically so confident and so doable.
 
"It really was just like a moment of release, I think, and relief. I was trying just to stay in the moment and not take anything for granted, so I think when I was done, there was a little bit of this weight off my shoulders. Like, I did this at U.S. Championships. I did it at Four Continents. It's not like this cursed short program."
 
Far from cursed, Brown went on to earn a personal best score for his free skate to music from the Schindler's List soundtrack, and a personal best total score.
 
Finally feeling solid on the ice meant an entirely different outlook than Brown took into those first few competitions.
 
"How I look at competitions in a lot of ways is that it's kind of a celebration as a whole," Brown said. "I work so hard every single day at a rink, in front of no audience. And so when I go out to compete, it's kind of like a celebration, like, 'Oh my god, I can't wait to show you what I've worked on. I can't wait for you guys to see the art that I've worked so hard to create.' So that was what was so special about Four Continents, I think, the free skate.
 
"I have no control over what the judges think, vs. how I skate and feel. But it's nice when they collide. I was so excited at the end of the skate and to receive the judges' scores, and to see that my performance was rewarded for what I did. And I'm so excited that I know I have more points on the table that I knew that I have gotten, that I know I'm capable of doing."
 
It's this celebratory attitude Brown hopes to take forward with him for the next several years as he continues to build on his successes.
 
Looking back, Brown knows – and appreciates – that he's an entirely different skater than he was several years ago, and even at the beginning of this season.
 
"There are moments at the rink where a coach will be like, 'Wait, do you remember what we were doing this summer?'" Brown said. "And in those moments we take the time to be like, 'Oh. My. Gosh.' They're random little moments from time to time when we look back and we laugh, and we kind of reminisce on the struggling times. But it's been cool to kind of continue on and be able to look back, and at least see that the season has gone in a direction that I'm proud of."