Kaitlin Hawayek Shares Powerful Message on Body Neutrality

Last month at Skate America in Norwood, Massachusetts, Kaitlin Hawayek and her partner, Jean-Luc Baker captured the silver medals, inspiring the judging panel to reward the duo with the highest marks of their career.
 
Despite nearly pulling off the win — the 2022 Olympians missed the top step of the podium by less than a point — Hawayek was subject to the criticism of an audience member who offered some repugnant words of advice.
 
"The award ceremony had just finished and there are a lot of people who were by the boards asking for photos and some who wanted things signed," she explained. "We got to a lot of people, but there was obviously a time limit to be able to get into the rehearsals and prepare for the gala.
 
"When we got back on the ice for the gala rehearsal, there were still some people waving us down asking for photos. Because we were skating later in the gala, there was a lot of time before our music would be played, [so] we were skating around the sides and felt no issue stopping for photos."
 
Basking in the glow of a Grand Prix podium finish and with a desire to reconnect with skating fans in person, Hawayek happily accommodated as many requests as she could. But eight pointed words quickly transformed the celebratory tone of the moment into one enveloped by a dark and very inappropriate cloud. 
 
"We were waved down by a lady who was a bit of a red flag because she didn't really have a personal space barrier. She came down to us, gave us big hugs and kind of jumped onto the boards, pulled us close, and asked somebody to take a photo," Hawayek remembered. "After the photo, Jean-Luc started to skate away and she grabbed my shoulder and pulled her head close to my ear and whispered, 'My dear, I have a secret to tell you,' and then she paused and said, 'You need to lose a lot of weight.'"
 
Stunned by the interaction, Hawayek quickly regained her composure and removed herself from the situation.
 
"Through previous experience having comments like that made, it was just a very innate reaction for me to pull away and stand my ground and tell her that it is not okay to say that. It's not okay for you to say to any athlete, and then I respectfully said I'm going to leave, and I skated away," Hawayek shared.
 
Realizing that she needed to find support, Hawayek shared what she just experienced with Baker and the team leader in Norwood.
 
"I found a quiet space with Jean-Luc and our team leader to just unpack some of the emotions that had bubbled up from the comments," Hawayek recalled. "I also feel really grateful that one of my friends and training mates, Madison Chock, was there with me, and she came out as a mama bear and was super supportive of me. Those three people in particular stood out to me that day for having my back and helping me to compartmentalize the emotions that I was feeling initially so that I was able to do the gala that evening."
 
Once the event was over and Hawayek returned to Montreal, she made the decision to share the incident by creating a video on social media. The 26-year-old wanted to bring light to how negative comments can be damaging to the mental health of an athlete, and how one incident can topple a house of cards, so to speak.
 
"The first thing that I felt when I had this experience was frustration and anger. I don't want younger kids and skaters to have to go through a similar journey to mine, even though it has made me the person that I am today," she explained. "If there are aspects that we can leverage from my experience to make things easier, healthier and safer for young athletes, I think that it could be very powerful. So, the same way that words can be powerful in a negative way when they're coming to an athlete, I think it transfers the other way as well. My voice can be just as powerful to hopefully make a difference and maybe start a change in the way people talk about athletes' bodies."
 
Dr. Caroline Silby, Ph.D, the head of sport psychology within high performance for U.S. Figure Skating, has seen how self-worth can be diminished in the mind of an athlete who has been stung by negative words.
 
"Commenting on body size and shape can fuel the message that your worth to others is conditional on how you appear or tied to a number on the scale," Silby shared. "Athletes need to know that their acceptance from others is not conditional on their appearance, successes or failures. This unconditional acceptance provides athletes with a safe haven from which to launch lofty dreams and ambitions."
 
Silby further explained that weight is just one of 40 factors that impact the performance of an athlete and how hyper-focusing on any one of those factors can set an athlete out of balance.
 
"When we overemphasize one of those factors, like weight, more than the other factors, this can increase the risk of an athlete developing or worsening an eating disorder or disordered patterns of eating and disrupt healthy relationship building with one's body," she said.
 
Furthermore, Silby shared that prioritizing weight over performance reduces that importance of other factors that are often the hallmark in the success of an athlete's career.
 
"Comments about an athlete's weight shifts focus away from performance to appearance, minimizing other truly important parts of the athletic process like resilience, determination, hard work, sacrifice, grit and mental toughness, which fuel what the body does versus how it appears," Silby said. "Communicating to athletes that your support of them is based upon who they are as people rather than how they appear or what they accomplish transforms the pursuit of excellence from a daunting task to a realistic goal. As members of this extraordinary skating community, it can be powerful to ask ourselves how we can "be" to consistently contribute to creating culture and community that provides a safe haven for those around us to compete, challenge and change."
 
Another expert, Carrie Aprik, MS, RD, CSSD, the lead dietician for U.S. Figure Skating and winter sport dietitian for the United States Olympic & Paralympic Committee, emphasizes a hand-crafted approach to athletes with regard to body aesthetics. Simply put, there is no one-size fits all solution for what equals success for those pursuing a career as an athlete.
 
"Body shape, size, composition, weight and image is deeply personal, multifactorial and constantly evolving," she explained. "It's impossible to know by simply looking at a person why they look a certain way or what their weight or composition should be. No research-based ideal body weight or composition exists for peak athletic performance. Because of these complexities, comments on body shape, size, composition and weight can carry more significance than people may realize. They can trigger destructive self-talk, disordered eating behaviors and/or reinforce dangerous eating or exercise behaviors already taking place."
 
In a sport where aesthetics is seemingly prioritized at the same level as athletic ability, Aprik sees the opportunity for the athlete to fall victim to negative behaviors due to the misconception of what a skater must look like in order to find success. It is through a ministry of educational programs that Aprik believes could help to eliminate this mindset in the sport.
 
"Judgmental comments and attitudes on 'ideal size' further entrenches into the culture of figure skating that only certain body types can be successful, distracts from athletic skills and reinforces the idea that how someone looks is to be valued more than who they are or how they perform," she said. "Skaters need to be strong, powerful and explosive to excel, just like any other athlete. From a nutrition perspective, this requires adequate fuel, fluid, nutrients, recovery, muscle mass, bone strength and hormonal status. Restrictive fueling behaviors meant to conform to an 'ideal' size can sabotage performance, lead to illness and injury and/or exacerbate mental health challenges. We hope that by talking about this issue, skaters, parents, coaches and fans will gain a greater awareness of the way they speak about athletes' bodies, and the effect their words have on the culture of the sport."
 
Though several weeks have passed since the incident, Hawayek is still committed to finding ways to leverage her experience with the fan to help future generations of skaters. As a veteran of the sport, the four-time U.S. Championship bronze medalist hopes that sharing her story will inspire a change within the figure skating community.
 
"Through my own experience, I have started to see a gap in the education being provided for young athletes, and I have become very passionate about it. To start, I think that there needs to be better education for officials and coaches in terms of addressing topics of this nature. That way the coaches don't feel like they have to address certain things in isolation and carry the burden of having to have all of the answers," Hawayek explained. "Instead, they can draw upon a network of professionals who specialize in a specific area such as nutrition or psychology. Having an understanding of what resources are available to the athlete could be a huge shift in the sport, and I think it could be a super simple and effective starting point to helping the sport become a safer place for athletes."
 
For tips on actively helping athletes develop a healthy body image as well as what not to do when communicating with athletes about body image, click here.
 
Hawayek's initial statement about the incident can be seen in full here.